Holmes & Moriarty, Batman & the Joker, Batfink & Hugo A-Go-Go . . .
. . . everyone has an Arch Enemy.
If you've ever dropped your toast, spilt the milk or found yourself pressing 'Don't Save' when what you meant was 'Save', it's quite probably your Arch Enemy at work.
Using advanced, state-of-the art Knave Detection Technology™, it is now possible to track your Arch Enemy's every move.*
*Actual position of Arch Enemy not guaranteed. Latitude and longitude shown represent position above the earth if Arch Enemy lives in a geostationary satellite, space station, Floating Fortress of Death or weather balloon. And don't even get started on moon bases...
Does your Arch Enemy have an underwater headquarters? Or an impenetrable castle built into the side of a mountain? Maybe an Antarctic fortress of solitude? There's only one way to find out...
All the clever map stuff from Google, all the clever IP address to latitude and longitude from hostip.info, the stoopid bits from me.
You're right, this is pretty dumb.
I have a Nintendog. I think. A very nice Labrador by the name of Dog. For 3 weeks, I fed, watered, washed, trained and walked her. She loved me. Then one day I forgot.
Then I forgot the next day. A couple of weeks later and I think . . . hang on . . . I feel like playing with Dog. Just before I switch on the DS, it suddenly hits me: If she gets dirty and thirsty after a couple of hours alone, what's she going to be like after several weeks? As far as I'm aware, the next time I switch on my DS, the card's internal clock is going to figure out I've been away for a while and Dog's going to have run away. As long as I keep the DS switched off, however, she's happy, well fed, well trained and loves me in that special way that only computer programs can. Or is she? As soon as I switch on to check...but then if I...but...
Are you bored?
Do you feel like your life has no purpose?
Every wanted to talk to someone when no-one was there?
Well, your prayers have been answered – quite literally. Introducing God in a Box, the portable deity. Any philosophical question answered, instantly. Goodwill and forgiveness included as standard. Order now and get the existential quandary expansion pack absolutely free! You need never question your faith again with the all-knowing, all-seeing, hand-held godly being – God in a box.
Spiritual satisfaction not guaranteed. Actual deity may not match religion followed.
